Wednesday, August 24, 2011

RIP to my Great Aunt, Patricia Hardy Egan

Here's a link to my Aunt's Obituary.  Please take a moment to read it

When I was eleven, I had to do a report for school on who I wanted to be like when I grew up.  The answer was easy because my mom’s Aunt (my great Aunt) was Patricia Hardy Egan.   She was beautiful, had been a model, in movies and on TV.  She was everything I wanted to be.  What I didn’t know at the time (but spent the next 25 years learning) was what a beautiful person she was on the inside.

When I had my second child, I was so amazed because I remember when I was pregnant thinking to myself that there was no way I would love the second as much as the first.  Of course I would pretend like I did but knew that was clearly impossible…then sure enough after the second came, I realized I did love him somehow just as much as the first.  I considered that a miracle.  I learned that our “heart”, our ability to love is an amazing thing.   When I think of my Aunt, I think of a giant heart filled with so much love and it makes sense considering her heart grew with each five of her children and then with her fourteen grandchildren.

She was loved by so many people, some people who knew her, knew her as “Chatty” because my aunt had the great ability of telling you a story as if you were there, making you feel like you were in an inner circle, in the “know”.  You could sit and “Chat” with her for hours. 

One time, growing up, I was in trouble and my mom  sent me to my Aunts for a couple days.  I wasn’t sure what to expect because it was usually a place where I went to have fun.  I had never seen my aunt angry with me before and thought for sure I was in trouble.  I remember the day like it was yesterday. She said “Laurie Dori” which was her nickname for me and she told me to sit down and then for the next couple hours we talked, she told me stories, amazing stories about Hollywood and the Copa and my Uncle and talking to her, having her confide in me...I felt like I was privy to government secrets.  I was so intrigued by everything she had to tell me but most of all by her, by her energy and the way her eyes lit up when she spoke about my Uncle and just in awe of what an amazing person she was.  Years later, her eyes still lit up the same way whenever she spoke of her husband and she was always so excited to fill me in on what was happening with each of her children.  She loved to talk about her grand children. 

No matter what age she passed, would’ve been too soon for those of us who loved her.

When I think about who I want to be like now, as I grow older, I think of my Aunt and what a wonderful person she was, an amazing wife and strong mother.  But most of all how loving she was and how she was always showered with so much love from her children and grandchildren. And, that is exactly how I want to be.

Friday, August 19, 2011

What's your story?

Throughout life, there are certain moments that really stick in your mind.  I always think of this time when I was around 21 years old and I was hanging out with a small group of friends.  It was friend of mine and a couple of guys I didn't know (they were her friends).
My friend ended up leaving me to go sit with one of the guys in a I just sat with the other guy on a curb and made small talk to pass the time.

After a long pause in our idle chit chat, he turned to me and with a really serious face said, "so, what's your story?" By the way he said it i could tell that he really wanted to know what my "story" actually was.  That's when i first started thinking, what was my story? I was 21 and had a 2 year old. I refused to let my story be that I was a single mom that dropped out of her first year of college to have a baby and well, I had to face it right then and there...that was my story.  I felt like nothing, working in an entry level position, raising my son alone.  I was embarrassed of who I was.  That's all I had.  So, I sat there thinking about it and pretty much wishing I could make up a story, something more exciting.  Something that would be impressive.  I didn't make up any story, just said something stupid and changed the subject.  But, something in me changed that day.  That question stuck with me and forced me to "write" my own story. 

Today I can say I'm proud of my story and who I am, what I've accomplished.  I realize now that "my story" back in 1996 wasn't one to be ashamed of.  Yes, i was a single mom but I was a good mom, a strong mom.  I loved my son and made sure he was loved and well cared for.  And, I was a strong woman then and I'm a strong woman now.  I've definitely made some bad decisions over the last 19 years but I've learned from each one and I'm stronger, smarter and happier now than ever.  Best of all I've learned that who I am isn't tied to what I do for a living or how much I make, it's about who i touch while I'm here. 

So if someone wanted to know what your story was, what would you say?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Busy August

Well, just when I thought I knew what busy was...i am a whole new kind of busy!  Elijah and Charlotte are still home with me, I'm working on a full time project and I'm in summer session for school.  My free nights consist of homework and reports.  I have my finals in both my classes this Saturday so this week has not been fun.  I decided to send in some of Charlotte's pictures to some agencies for print ads/commercials, not because I'm a conceited mom that thinks my daughters the cutest but mostly because I started thinking of the kids and their college funds.  I was really inspired by my friend Amy who's daughter has been doing some work and she makes it look so easy and fun.  We received notice from one of the agencies (Zuri Model and Talent) that they wanted to sign Charlotte and then we got a letter that Osbrink wanted to interview her.  I didn't commit to signing with Zuri because I wanted to see what Osbrink was all about.  We went for an interview and honestly, I didn't leave with any warm and fuzzy feelings.  It was kind of like "don't call us, we'll call you" before I left.  They ended up calling within a couple hours and they also wanted to sign Charlotte.

I was so excited but really torn.  We ended up signing with Osbrink because after talking to several people they recommended I do that and then if we aren't getting the level of service we want (meaning, she's not getting sent out on a lot of auditions) then I can switch to Zuri.

I got the paperwork of what to do from Osbrink and it really looks like a full time job.  I really didn't think about all the work it was going to be.  I'm still excited about it but just trying to figure out how to fit in auditions into my work schedule.  The other thing is the paperwork says not to bring siblings and Elijah's not in school yet.  I have to go to Van Nuys and get Charlotte a work permit...I had to go there last week and get her birth certificate so I could get the work permit.

Glad I already had her pictures done last week!  I wanted to have more done but we did more of like a mini shoot with a photographer that shot my friend's daughter.  She was really nice and has a studio in her house.  She lives in Huntington Beach and I chose to go to her studio to save money but have already decided if i have pictures done of Elijah, I'm going to have her come here.  I'm all about saving money right now trust me but saving $50 isn't worth sitting in traffic with a screaming baby ;)

Elijah's been calling her "Charlie" instead of Charlotte lately.  She's still super sweet with a great personality.  Loving every minute....