Saturday, May 14, 2011

12-step program

My ex husband called me tonight to talk to me about his 12 step program and how one of the steps is apologizing to people you have wronged and "making your amends" with them.  I thought it would be a long call where he would list all the things he's done that he should be sorry for but instead he was calling to ask for someones address that we both know so he could apologize to him for something that i don't even think was a big deal!

I realize, it doesn't matter if I think its a big deal because this is not my recovery (or my conscience) but I couldn't help but wonder when I'd get my apology from him or if I ever will.  Then, I REALLY started thinking....if I was in that kind of program, how many people would I need to apologize to?  How many people have I "wronged" in my life.  I thought about it for a long time and now I'm thinking I should apologize to them.  I'm not doing any sort of program but just think it can't hurt, right?  I've never meant to hurt anyone and I don't want to leave any hurt feelings out there.  After listening to him talk about some bad feelings he has from over 13 years ago, it made me wonder if anyone has any bad feelings about me or my actions in the past.  If so, I'm truly sorry and hope that I have my chance to tell them.